Have you ever heard about body shaming? Maybe yes, you have found a lot of writings or videos on internet about body shaming. 

Quoting from a source, the definition of body shaming is the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size. I think almost all of us ever got this action even though from the close friends as a joke. 

Well, in this time I want to tell a story of body shaming that happened to me. As you know, I am a girl. I got this kind of body shaming when I was in school. The first experience happened in my elementary school life. My guy friends called me with a different name just because I had a different color of hair that most Asians have a black hair. It started when I was in 4th grade, a guy who sat behind me noticed my hair color and then he was the first guy who inspired the other guys to call me with different name. The guys started to relate all things that caused unusual hair color on me. For example, "Ahahaha, don't play kite under the sun, look at your hair color!" and so on. 

He also commented on my another part of body. I remember when he said, "Haha you have mustache!". Another guy friend in elementary school said to me, " Oh see, you have a knob tooth!". I also remember I had an eyes problem (Myopia) in 4th grade, but I didn't tell my parents because I was afraid and was not confidence to wear glasses. Until my teacher told my parents about my eyes, and I started using glasses in 6th grade. The guy friends called me "hahaha Betty La Fea!". I felt so bad about myself at that time. All things that I did, all were wrong in their eyes. I lost my self confidence but I kept staying cool. What did I do when they were mocking me? Did I keep in silent? There is no words of "keep calm" in the dictionary of my life if someone mocks me. I fought back with their mocking reply. However, I had to defense myself alone while they were in groups! Can you imagine that? 

The next body shaming I got is when I was in junior high school. I suffered dengue fever in 6th grade where I lost my consciousness for a moment. After I had recovered, my body became very thin. Before suffering from dengue fever, I had an average child body size. I forget who was the first time that call me "Bone!". So most guys know that I have a nickname "Bone!". Whenever I met those groups of guys they would call me and shouted "Hahahahaha, hey Bone!". They kept calling me like that until I felt that I was ugly. I ate a lot to gain the weight but nothing happened. I was still a thin girl. I often asked my girl friend, "Hey, am I looking quite fat??" Yeah, I did that because I lost my confidence for several times. But, what did I do? Well, I did the same thing just like when I was in elementary school. I also punched or kicked some guys who tried insulting me. 

In senior high school life, I remember it was the computer subject, suddenly my guy friend noticed me "Hey, you have flat nose. You look like Sule! (Indonesian comedian who has a flat nose)". I didn't know how it started but then he announced his big invention to my friends in the class until they called me "Flat nose". In this case, both girl and guy friends called me that. Also my best friends called me that. I was sad and felt a bit worthless at that time. But what did I do? I created a fake smile and laughed like I was okay with it. I think all students knew who I was because I was a famous with that nickname. One day, my guy friend called me with a hurt word ever and I was really angry. I chased him in the class and punched his back until I satisfied. My classmates was stared at me and shocked because of my anger. Hahaha. Well, I was a quite tomboy so I never got afraid of guys. So, whoever tried to mock me, I couldn't stay silent. 

I'm quite lucky that in my college life, there is no people especially guys do a body shaming to me straight to the point. But I don't know what they talk behind me, LOL. Even though I don't get the same experience like before, I see a lot of guys or girls still do a body shaming to the girls over the internet. We live in a modern era where people now do cyber bullying with hatred comments and make the victim feel insecure about her/him self. I watched a statement of Kylie Jenner whether it's true or not, that the reason of her to done her lips was just because her boyfriend complained on her small lips as he said that he didn't feel better to kiss small lips. Kylie Jenner felt insecure of herself because her beloved person said that to her and she decided to done her lips. 

Even though they mocked me, I still had a lot of friends. A lot of fans though haha. Seriously, a guy ever made me fall in front a staircase intentionally and after that he stared at me in the class, beside he was a person who also mocked me. I think those guys were trying to catch attention from me, but in a poor way HAHAHA. Today, I will try not to care of what people say about my body shape/size. I believe in the words of "Every girl is beautiful on her own way". I hate those guys who just love a girl by her physical appearance. What if people say "But when you are in elementary, they are still kids and it is a natural thing". Hey, how come you let your children do bad things like that to other people? As I ever watched that so many bullying cases ended up with suicide without knowing age. It also depends on her/him own mentality and social support like family, relatives, etc. 

So I want to tell you for guys, please never ever do a body shaming to everyone. I don't know but I see body shaming mostly comes to the girls. It is also prevail to the girls not to say hatred words that make other girls feel down. I really know how it feels. Let me tell you, I was really sad when people have a bad comment to my body shape/size, but it makes me improve myself in a better way. Maybe some girls choose to do plastic surgery, fillers, Botox, and some others thing to get more confidence. I think, it is their own business even if I don't agree about that. But maybe they do for some reasons we never know.  We should say good to people because we will never know that our words will give a huge impact for someone. Let them have their own life as long as it doesn't harm or give negative effect to people. If they do, try to correct them in a better and a decent way. 

I do body shaming as well to my close friends as a joke between us and I think I should stop this. Learning from my experience, most of perpetrators of body shaming are guys! They make joke of girl's body. Hey it isn't funny at all. We both are human, we have self-esteem and need a mutual respect to each other. In the end of this blog, I have nice words:

Treat others like you want to be treated by them because karma does exist. 

**I would like you to correct correct my grammar as usual :D **

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Comment by Diah on October 10, 2017 at 0:01

Yep in other words he had no heart and brain ;)

Comment by Roman on October 9, 2017 at 15:19
No need to say sorry, Diah! It is ok. Well... ok, but anyway his act was bad and dangerous.
Comment by Diah on October 9, 2017 at 7:09

Sorry for the late reply Roman since I rarely come here :D 

Nope, it's not forbidden but I kind of forget how to say it in English to explain you -_- yea it was my guy friend who made me fall near the upstairs. He used one of his legs and crossed it in front of me when I reached the upstairs. That's made me fall. I hope you understand what I'm talking about haha. I do even forget the term in my formal language so I can't see the translation on google hahaha :D

Comment by Roman on October 4, 2017 at 18:00
To say what? Is it one of forbiden words here? And I still don't understand, it was your friend, who made you fall near the stairs?
Comment by Diah on October 4, 2017 at 14:55

Hey Evangeline

Hahaha maybe it's because I was trying to look "okay". Yeah, those people who have never been bullied will never know the sad feeling. I mean, maybe they don't have the source of happiness, so bullying people is their source of it. 

Well, you are totally right. We should never allow ourselves as victim, because they who bully will be happy if we are sad. We sometimes need to give a deep little touch for them. Thank you Eva for your nice comment! :D

Comment by Diah on October 4, 2017 at 14:51

HI Icha!

Hahahaha I do know it so well how you feel. At the first time I felt down, but because of that nickname, they make me famous :D Well even though with a bad nickname. Yes people's mentally are different one another, as we can see when a girl is said to be fat, she will do extra practice and diet, and sometimes it makes her become unhealthy just because she wants to look good in others' eyes. 

So, both empathy and sympathy are needed as human being. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :D 

Comment by Diah on October 4, 2017 at 14:44

Hello Roman,

What I mean when I lost my consciousness is... yeah I felt like I lost my mind so I had only half consciousness. Hahah I don't know how to say in English-___- and my guy friend didn't push me away from the staircase but when I met him in upstairs, he interrupted my legs and made me fall down. 

Btw, those names are the same with the girls' names here... and yeah I hope we stop doing body shaming because we never know what they feel inside. And yup, everyone has different mentality.

Thank you Roman for putting your comment here :D

Comment by Evangelina on October 2, 2017 at 20:21
Diah,

I felt so sad to read this but at the same time, I can sense you are a very strong person.

Sometimes bullies don’t know what powers they manage to awaken :))

Sometimes people who live in glasshouse are the first ones standing in from to pass their judgement, thrown their stones - it is a sign of being low on every parameter in human values.

People who hasn’t experienced being bullied can not even imagine what kind of scars such actions leaves on the particular person, something that follows all the was in adulthood.

Any kind of such behavior, it is a parents responsibility to teach their children to be sympathetic and considerate towards on another.

Stay happy, confident and strong always :)

Good message, good share.

“Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no ones definition of your life;
Define yourself”
Comment by Icha on October 2, 2017 at 8:49

Hi Diah,

It is based on your true story, you wrote it well. After reading it, recalling me in the past time. I experienced this as you had till college, because I am smaller (so cute haha...) than them. But it didn't make me having low confidence but in the contrary. I thought they did that because they payed attention more of me in the different way LOL. And, yeah I could be famous than other with weakness of my body.

I believe that every creation of God always has strength that might be we don't know yet. So, what our rights to low others??

From you main idea about this writing I couldn't agree more with you. It is not good idea to bully ones with anything that could make them lost their confidence. The mentally ones are different one another, so be kind and put empathy at least sympathy if we were on their shoes. Thank you for sharing the valued messages from your true experiences. 

Comment by Roman on October 1, 2017 at 20:25

Oh my god.......... What a poor girl:( .....You have lost consciousness? I can't remember if I lose my counsciousness even once... And are you sirious? He pushed you to fall in front of staircase?!!!!! What the -_- moron he is!!! I just hope you are OK after falling down... And I also was doing some body shaming long time ago and I feel shame everytime when I remember it...  No, I didn't know that you are girl, I thought it is male name "Diah". Maybe it is because in my country almost every female name has vowel letter in the end for example: Anya, Ira, Tanya, Oksana, Maria, Nadia like this. Thank you for sharing, Diah! Your story is very instructive! Your insurmountable character impressing and inspiring!!!!!  !

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